The bad news is that it's radiation damage that's messing up my tongue and untrilling my r's. The good news is that it's radiation damage and not a tumor. The radiation damage may get worse, the tumor certainly would get worse.
There's a lot of talk about nerve damage and fibrosis and words like progressive and cumulative. But the distinction gets made between 'living with cancer' and 'living past cancer', and right now I'm at the beginning of living past it.
How do I feel? I feel like I want to take a nap and write a book and go for a sail and catch a fish and cook it on a little grill on deck and share it with the friends who know the best jokes. I feel like I want to call my dear friend B who is waiting for her test results and tell her that there's some good news out in the world and some of it's for her.
I feel like a drink with Gilmore and a dance with J. I feel like swapping recipes and cooking lies. I feel like moving and when I think about it much, I see a tiny cabin and a boat.
It's a different blog now: Stay tuned.